OK this is not really one story more like a series of stories...back when I was in middle school/early high school my cousins and I use to pull pranks on each other whenever we slept over at each other crib....now of course you got prank when you went to sleep...the objective was to be the last one to fall asleep this shit happened every weekend, but a few stuck out that I remember so here we go
The Mouth Pump
this was invented be me and my cousin Amo, one night his brother D had went to sleep first lol...nigga had his mouth wide the fuck open snoring....I'm like aye this nigga need to shut the fuck before I hold his nose and cover his mouth and kill him....he was sleeping on this air mattress we had and I got this idea I went into the closet and got the mattress air pump...so I tell Amo aye we bout to turn this nigga into a Macys Christmas day parade balloon float....so this nigga ama put the tube in that nigga mouth (AYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO) Im standing here biting my tshirt through laughter...I mean this mothafucka got a fucking tube in his mouth AND IS STILL SLEEP..so after Amo get done....i jump on the air pump like 6 times....LMFAOOOOOOO I SWEAR TO GOD CUH I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD!!!...that nigga looked like he was having a seizure or heart attack on some fred sanford type shit........of course we dipped off down stairs LOL...the nigga went back to sleep...we did that shit like 5 times to him through out the night the nigga was pissed lmao
Clogged up face
So one weekend I fucked around and went to sleep early....these niggas thought it would be good to do that fucking air mattress pump prank on me...but i dont sleep with my mouth open so they put the shit up my nose -___________- I was fucking mad I wanted to fucking FIGHT!!! BUT!!! like a dumb ass I went back to sleep and they did that shit again -_____________-. So the next morning I wake up early I take my piss, I dip the plunger in the toilet...put the plunger right in front of D face and yelled out loud...the nigga face jumped right in the plunger lmaooo
Initials
Once again somebody fall alseep, who is it this time ? Amo lmaoo who are the pranksters Vey and me...so we go to the fridge and pull out nothing but condiments (ketchup mustard and mayo) so we go into the room and I'm like fuck this shit lets write out initials in this nigga hair so we do it....the next morning this nigga AMo wakes up and want to joke um like "boy dont do it with ya head tagged up like a harlem subway" this nigga is like what? I keep joking " boy keep talking and ill make a whopper jr out ya head nigga" so of course somebody snitch and tell him what we did after he sees it of course lmaoo...by that time I dipped to vey house ( who stayed up the street )lmao
The Hitler
So one night at my crib I tell this nigga Amo that D was muscle behind him getting mummified in his sleep a few weeks back....so he like for real ? I'm like hell yeah nigga..so he looks at me and say " You know what a Hitler is ?" of course I'm like fuck no...so hes like ill show you....so he digs in to his pants......I'm like " AYE NIGGA I LIKE PUSSY,ain with this gay shit" so I see this nigga digging in his ass scratching like he aint wipe his ass after taking 60 kabilliontrillionzillion shits....im like "Bruh wtf you aint wipe your ass after a shit...we got tissue shawty you can go wipe your ass"...thats when I realized what he was about to do....IT ALL CLICKED IN MY HEAD WHAT HE WAS ABOUT TO DO.....the nigga took his shitty hand with butt crust dookie crumbs on it and wiped it across his brother upper lip and TEETH...I was like WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF X LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOX GROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS all I could do was lol....from that day forward I slept in my moms room with the door locked whenever them niggas came to my crib....and when I went over their crib I stayed awake till day light
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
The 1st Time
This is one of my more embarrassing stories, but hey this is what this blog is for right ??!! So Fuck it DICK SLANG!!! lets get this show on the road.
The History of Horny
Ok listen since I was birth all I ever wanted to do was get some pussy, shit when i was 3 I discovered what titties were...when my sisters had sleep overs house would be filled with girls, I swear the shit was like Christmas...I use to wait outside the bathroom while they took showers...as soon as they came out in them towels i was on the hunt for BOOBIES!!!!!!!!!!! I mean im only 3 my sisters are 7-8 years older than me so their friends had some good boobies oh and thighs DEM MOTHAFUCKING THIGHS...but yeah i was mannish...you get the picture
The 1st time
Aight so I was talking to this girl name Tee, I was 12 she was like what ?? 15, 16 shit one of them numbers all I know is I was on some playa shit... AKA YOUNG BAWSE... AKA YOUNG WILD NIGGA... AKA YOUNG STAMINA.... AKA YOUNG CROOKED.... AKA GIVE ME SOME PUSSY... AKA POP DAT PUSSY FOR A YOUNG GOON HOE (SHOUT TO ADAM) ....but yeah tho she stayed to apartments down from me and shit, so i use to be at her crib all the time we actually dated, but a nigga only made it making out and getting my dick jacked. Of course i got tired of this hoe you aint putting out well as Moo Moo say "FUCK YOU DEN HOE" so I canceled that hoe, but the wierdest shit happened...a week later i walk past her crib and she called me over and hit a nigga with the "I WANNA FUCK YOU" line..I was like (Scooby doo voice) RUH? lol a nigga was happy as fuck like hellz yeah BURRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!! So she like come by the tomorrow im like cool!!!!
Tomorrow!
So its tomorrow and we up in her room im ass naked in socks ready to do this shit!!!...This hoe scared to get naked she got on her skirt with no panties on..didnt make me none hell I just wanted the pussy.....
complicated -_______-
OKKKKKKKKKKKK the first problem...this broad is tight as fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!! I swear this shit takes at least 30 minutes to get in....The second problem...The broad talking about she keep getting dry, IM 12 bitch I dont know what the fuck you tombout, you better get moist or get ripped to shreds got damn it cuz um ready to dick slang..The third problem, THIS BITCH COOCH WAS SO FUCKING HAIRY, her shit looked like a grizzly bear paw just gross...but im horny and im a virgin so fuck it!!!!!!!!!!
WTF IS THAT SMELL
So we finally fucking in missionary of course....and this stench comes comes out of no where...im thinking to myself as I keep a poker face "do pussy suppose to smell like this???? if so I might become a monk and say the hell with pussy" I mean really Im just like got damn let me hurry the fuck up so I can have a meeting with the old heads (a group of older niggas) I gotta tell them about this SHIT! So I hurry up and finish...go to the bathroom and take the condom off..too bad I wasnt over the toilet because that man goo just spilled all over the floor it made a loud splat noise too like them nickelodeon gak commercials lol..I left it there and dipped, fuck her house with yo dick nigga !
The Talk
So its like 10 at night Im outside chilling in the cut talking to jimmy and Emanuel about what happened....so Im like shawty the bitch Tee stank I fucked...this bitch made Emanuel like "you aint fuck shit you lying" Im looking at this nigga like "bruh first off you 17, fat with feet arthritis...have you even smelled a pussy let alone fuck one..you a borderline pedo stfu ( I was about that life at 12) " So Jimmy is like "I believe keith, because the same thing happened when I was about to fuck her sister (toya)" So Im like do pussy suppose to smell like that ??? Jimmy responds "FUCK NO STUPID MOTHAFUCKA" lol
I told everybody
Now look niggas been wanting fuck Tee for the longest and I did it and the shit was a fail, why not tell??? I fucking told everybody she was FUN-K ain give a damn...bitch clean ya pussy and might have kept my mouth close ( NO IM LYING I STILL WOULD'VE BRAGGED) she was heated...but what could she do tho?? AKA YOUNG BAWSE NIGGA... AKA I GOT DEM FUNKY DRAWS..AKA KEEP YA FUNKY PUSSY TO YASELF CUZ A GOON DONT WONT YOU TO POP IT!!!
Back story
My best friend big mike obvsiouly didnt learn a lesson from my story so...8 years later he fucked TEE and called me up like( his first words) "bruh you were right" im like wtf you talking about nigga...."I fucked tee" I bust out LOL.....
fuck you funky hoes im out
The History of Horny
Ok listen since I was birth all I ever wanted to do was get some pussy, shit when i was 3 I discovered what titties were...when my sisters had sleep overs house would be filled with girls, I swear the shit was like Christmas...I use to wait outside the bathroom while they took showers...as soon as they came out in them towels i was on the hunt for BOOBIES!!!!!!!!!!! I mean im only 3 my sisters are 7-8 years older than me so their friends had some good boobies oh and thighs DEM MOTHAFUCKING THIGHS...but yeah i was mannish...you get the picture
The 1st time
Aight so I was talking to this girl name Tee, I was 12 she was like what ?? 15, 16 shit one of them numbers all I know is I was on some playa shit... AKA YOUNG BAWSE... AKA YOUNG WILD NIGGA... AKA YOUNG STAMINA.... AKA YOUNG CROOKED.... AKA GIVE ME SOME PUSSY... AKA POP DAT PUSSY FOR A YOUNG GOON HOE (SHOUT TO ADAM) ....but yeah tho she stayed to apartments down from me and shit, so i use to be at her crib all the time we actually dated, but a nigga only made it making out and getting my dick jacked. Of course i got tired of this hoe you aint putting out well as Moo Moo say "FUCK YOU DEN HOE" so I canceled that hoe, but the wierdest shit happened...a week later i walk past her crib and she called me over and hit a nigga with the "I WANNA FUCK YOU" line..I was like (Scooby doo voice) RUH? lol a nigga was happy as fuck like hellz yeah BURRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!! So she like come by the tomorrow im like cool!!!!
Tomorrow!
So its tomorrow and we up in her room im ass naked in socks ready to do this shit!!!...This hoe scared to get naked she got on her skirt with no panties on..didnt make me none hell I just wanted the pussy.....
complicated -_______-
OKKKKKKKKKKKK the first problem...this broad is tight as fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!! I swear this shit takes at least 30 minutes to get in....The second problem...The broad talking about she keep getting dry, IM 12 bitch I dont know what the fuck you tombout, you better get moist or get ripped to shreds got damn it cuz um ready to dick slang..The third problem, THIS BITCH COOCH WAS SO FUCKING HAIRY, her shit looked like a grizzly bear paw just gross...but im horny and im a virgin so fuck it!!!!!!!!!!
WTF IS THAT SMELL
So we finally fucking in missionary of course....and this stench comes comes out of no where...im thinking to myself as I keep a poker face "do pussy suppose to smell like this???? if so I might become a monk and say the hell with pussy" I mean really Im just like got damn let me hurry the fuck up so I can have a meeting with the old heads (a group of older niggas) I gotta tell them about this SHIT! So I hurry up and finish...go to the bathroom and take the condom off..too bad I wasnt over the toilet because that man goo just spilled all over the floor it made a loud splat noise too like them nickelodeon gak commercials lol..I left it there and dipped, fuck her house with yo dick nigga !
The Talk
So its like 10 at night Im outside chilling in the cut talking to jimmy and Emanuel about what happened....so Im like shawty the bitch Tee stank I fucked...this bitch made Emanuel like "you aint fuck shit you lying" Im looking at this nigga like "bruh first off you 17, fat with feet arthritis...have you even smelled a pussy let alone fuck one..you a borderline pedo stfu ( I was about that life at 12) " So Jimmy is like "I believe keith, because the same thing happened when I was about to fuck her sister (toya)" So Im like do pussy suppose to smell like that ??? Jimmy responds "FUCK NO STUPID MOTHAFUCKA" lol
I told everybody
Now look niggas been wanting fuck Tee for the longest and I did it and the shit was a fail, why not tell??? I fucking told everybody she was FUN-K ain give a damn...bitch clean ya pussy and might have kept my mouth close ( NO IM LYING I STILL WOULD'VE BRAGGED) she was heated...but what could she do tho?? AKA YOUNG BAWSE NIGGA... AKA I GOT DEM FUNKY DRAWS..AKA KEEP YA FUNKY PUSSY TO YASELF CUZ A GOON DONT WONT YOU TO POP IT!!!
Back story
My best friend big mike obvsiouly didnt learn a lesson from my story so...8 years later he fucked TEE and called me up like( his first words) "bruh you were right" im like wtf you talking about nigga...."I fucked tee" I bust out LOL.....
fuck you funky hoes im out
Sunday, June 13, 2010
AGTheKid I Know How To Destroy You
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! my blog/twitter rival/nemesis is named AMP GREEN and I have the LIST TO DESTROY HIM...it's short but it will work
DUN DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!
1. Send him a youtube vid of Super Mario getting his fucking brains bashed in with a tiny hammer
2. Invite him over to your crib....invite nas.....break nas fucking legs in Agthekids face. Amp will cry OH HE WILL FUCKING CRY ALRIGHT!!!
3. AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST!!!!! Set up a hell in the cell 2 on 1 match with Amp vs Wale x Charles Hamilton....oh and Amp hands are tied up......watch him get the shit beat out of him!
DUN DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!
1. Send him a youtube vid of Super Mario getting his fucking brains bashed in with a tiny hammer
2. Invite him over to your crib....invite nas.....break nas fucking legs in Agthekids face. Amp will cry OH HE WILL FUCKING CRY ALRIGHT!!!
3. AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST!!!!! Set up a hell in the cell 2 on 1 match with Amp vs Wale x Charles Hamilton....oh and Amp hands are tied up......watch him get the shit beat out of him!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
