That Awkward Moment of Silence

Ok yall....here we go..lets get something out of the way! Now for those of you that's been here from the jump...since the got damn beginning..KNOW!!!! When I post a blog about my sex life...the shit never goes smooth...welllllllllll of course I'm back with a new story, well its not new shit happened back in 2009 but still this my first time telling it so shut the fuck up bitch and listen...OH what ? You not gone listen ? Well fuck you and ya stank ass mama..bih be coming outside with that lil ass pone tail at the top of her head cause sheen got enough hair in the back to reach the front...hoe head looking like a broken convertible top...bih done gelled the back of her hair all night looking like bo slick and Harriet Tubman...back of the hoe head ashy hard and crusty, like Nigerian feet...bitch I know you...you the lil long fruit roll up titty having hoe that was trying to be candy lady for a day and ended up giving away all ya candy for nickel bags of crack scrapings....

WOAHHHHHHHH!!!!!! I see i got distracted lol...back to the story

The Web

So yeah, I had just got back to Atlanta and out of a relationship..so of course I'm back on my Lion Boy SHIT! I'm looking for a bitch I can dump dis dick off in ya know trying to get my lap wet with a few lonely raindrops...my car was out of commission so I couldn't roam the jungles of Atlanta like I wanted to...sooooo I go to this old ass website ( yes a website...real players know...when youre not mobile you hit them internet streets and Google the pussy)..TAGGED.COM! Yall know that website was the shit in high school, IDK why I went on this specific website but I did...so I see this Jamaican chick with this bad ass body....no lie shawty was like Keish from belly...had me like 0_0......so I hit her with go to Niketalk Myspace line "can I borrow you" lmaoooooooo yall know that shit worked like a charm..I got the digits and everything...I hit shawty up ASAP...we chop it up....of course I invite her over the next day...

THE CRIB

So Shawty catch the bus to my house....she get off and she got on these damn black leggings walking all stank and bowlegged ...thighs and ass flying ehwhere..I swear to god...In my mind I'm like..."God You know im bout to TEAR THIS CURRY CHICKEN ASS UP!!!!!!! GIVE ME THE STRENGTH OF 1000000 GOLIATHS...I SWEAR IM FUCK THE RASTA OUT THIS HOE", we make it back to my crib and I put a movie on and shit....I forget what it was, I mean I wasnt paying attention no way...hell she didnt even sit down on the couch, she put all of that hamhock ass in my lap....my face is like this -----> ^_^ lmao...yall got to understand...I was in a slump after My ex and I had broke up...I wasnt chasing any YAMPS just chilling and being miserable..so of course I wasnt getting any pussy...my dick was dry as them hoes asses who don't put lotion on their butt crack during the winter...hoe ass crack be so dry she gotta get a metal foot scrubber to get the dirty ashy ass flakes off her butt...but yeah...I was horny as hell...and my dick was ready to put that broads walls into ICU( INTENSIVE COOCHIE UNIT)...so I say fuck this movie lets go to my room...she like cool...hell before I got to the room that broad was giving me the sloppiest blow occupation I ever had dawg....spit flying ehwhere...I mean this yamp was good...look if I had been uncircumcised she would sucked the extra meat off and it would've been a pleasant circumcision...so after like 10 minutes...I'm like strip..I'm ready to pound her....I'm looking like a LION BOY...I done stripped ass naked...just so my clothes wouldnt hinder my agile speed and power in my stroke...I tie my hair back AKA MY LION BOY MANE.....and I'm ready to FUCK!....So she strips naked and say "Fuck me from the back"...I'm like "bitch what you think I was going to do in the first place ? fuck you face to face ?" ...So she turns over and get into that real doggy style position...FELLAS YALL KNOW WHAT IM SAYING!!!!!!!! Face down Pussy and ass up type shit...not like how them ol weak ass hoes be...you know putting that hump in they back being scary...bitches be in the Quasimodo position looking like retards...tombout doggy style...yeah right scab...you look like you got scoliosis...bitch is yo spine crooked ? Assume the damn position then you got damn hunchback. But yeah so she's ready...I put that magnum on...and its on...

WHAT IN DA DAMN HELL

I'm thinking I'm about to slide this crooked pussy burglar inside this hoe with ease...yeahhhhh righttttttttt!!!!!!!!! I got maybe half of my head in, and she started running up the damn headboard...I'm like what the hell is wrong...shes like "NO THAT SHIT HURTS LIKE HELL...WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR DICK?"...I'm like whats wrong with your pussy ? She like "No something is really wrong with your dick...its too big for me...and is it curves..no..we cant do this" I'm like...Mi dick is not to big...your pussy is too small dammit......so she says holup...give her a few minutes...I'm like cool....so I'm laying in my bed ass naked...looking at my dick go from super erect....to flaccid as fuck....5 minutes pass by...10 minutes pass by...15 minutes pass by..20 minutes pass by...I'm raging mad...so I say...

HEY...GET THE FUCK UP...AND GET THE FUCK OUT...FUCK YOU THINK THIS IS A REST STOP FOR COOCHIE ? A FUCKING SHELTERED FOR BATTERED AND ABUSED UTERUS..YOU DONE LOST YOUR MIND TRYING ME LIKE A FUCKING LAME..GETCHO BLACK ASS OUT OF MY HOUSE...AND I BETTER NO EVER SEE YA ASS ON THIS STREET AGAIN....GOOD LUCK WALKING DOWN THE STREET BY YOURSELF HOE..BEEF PATTY ASS BITCH!

Yeah I know I was harsh....but damn yall...I was just coming out of a very emotional relationship...I wanted some pussy and I wanted right then and there...ya know...I actually seen shawty last year on the bus...she couldn't even look me in the eye lmao

The moral of this story is...well... don't be so tighten up