OK this is one of the more embarrassing stories I'm going tell...as if all the others were not embarrassing enough but here we go lol
WTF
So I'm in maxway with my moms and shit and she's buying me clothes for school (I was in the 5th grade) , So we walking around and shit and of course in my mind I'm like wtf is this shit maxway wtf real niggas dont wear this shit man...fuck...I knew my moms aint have a lot of money tho with the shitty job she had at the time..
The Pants
so she stumble up on this rack of LEE jeans yeah fucking LEE jeans....WTF BITCH I WANT FUBU GOT DAMMIT, wtf I look like brett favre got dammit...ain out here cutting lawns on john deers and shit fuck....so she picks up the jeans I'll never forget them damn things....they were fucking LEE FLARES fucking FLARES man...they were like bell bottoms on some skater/emo goth kids type of shit....I was angry no lie...but I never showed it, I wanted to make her happy because she was trying and it was hard doing those time of my life even I knew that and I was 1o then...I could have easily called my pops who would've mailed me name brand clothes...but I didn't that wasn't me...so I told her I liked them( should have said fuck no) she got me two fucking pair -_- blue and black....
Jeans.....School
Now listen I tried my best to avoid them fucking jeans, I didn't want to wear them shits to school and get roasted hell....BUT of course I didn't have many clothes barely a week worth to be honest so judgment day was bound to come....
Rocking New Gear
So the first day I wore the black pair...man that had to be the longest walk to the bus stop, my confidence was on par with a bulimic bitch who just ate a bigmac and looked in the mirror.....so yeah kids are looking at me like this nigga cant be serious with them supafly bell bottoms on lmfaoooooooooooo.....they didnt say much, in school I got roasted of course and people stared like a mothafucka lol....it was what I expected eventually I aint trip no more I just accepted it......mafuckas would shout "KEEF BUM ASS WIT DEM WHITE BOY BELL BOTTOMS" lmfaoooo shit is funny as fuck now that I look back on it....wasn't funny then lol tho....
It was worse when I got back home, hell I stayed in the projects (SHOUT OUT TO EAST POINT STANTON RD CREEKSIDE APT PHILLIPS COURT....ALL THAT GOOD SHIT NIGGA BURRRRRRRRR SKURRRRRRRRRR WOOOO WOOO SWAG HOE ASS NIGGAS) niggas roasting the shit out of me when I got off that bus, hell I had to go in the house......the next day the same shit happened man.....shit when I got off that bus i took the back way to my crib so I wouldn't get roasted, I think niggas had super powers or some shit because I took the back way and I could hear niggas on the next street roasting my ass...I'm like damn these mafuckas are predicting where I'm going to be just to roast me.
After a while my moms picked up on it that I didn't like the jeans so she took the jeans and got them hemmed up so they would look normal...I was happy as hell I hated them damn jeans lol..
Moral: DONT LET YA DAMN MAMA PICK YA FUCKING CLOTHES DAMN. On the real no matter how bad the clothes were that my mom picked for me I wore them I knew we aint have shit so I aint complain no matter how bad they were ...this went on till the end of 8th grade...I bet you this tho....no matter how bad my clothes were niggas aint want to roast any more...because I was king of that shit after a while lol...yeah my clothes were raggedy but nigga you fucking ugly lol
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
The Bloody Caprice
Yeah I know I've been procrastinating about a new post but hell what you expect I'm black, negro, nigga...I don't do shit on time so fuck you pay me...but any way lets get on with the story....
Ok yall know my luck with fucking women is 50/50 some are good...and others are just fucking turrible...I swear there is always a fucking problem on the real, If I fuck 10 hoes in a week out of those 10, 5 will have something wrong with them...its either her pussy stinks, her ass aint big enough, her skin aint soft enough..or I'm just horny and my judgment got clouded on how truly ugly you are...well I got another damn story for you so here we go got damn i.
The Club
Ok so it was 2007 I was attending school at Faulkner university and what can I say I went to the club every night..so my boy and I went to this joint called front street it was college night so hoes were flocking and choosing..me personally I wouldn't be caught dead in that basement of a club now...but yeah so I see this dark skinned broad with nice mass and legs so I'm like fuck it pull her over get a dance HIT MY FLEX...get her number that's the end of that I would tell yall her name but I forgot it so sue me hoe.
FAST FORWARD
So the next day I hit the broad up..and get some shit going form my boy and I..so she tell me to puck her and her friend up from campus at like 8 (SHOUT OUT TO THE HOES AT ALABAMA STATE I FUCKED MANY) so shit its 8 I roll through and pick them up. We get back to the crib and shit so they go in my boys (akeen) room, while we in the living room talking...so I'm like look you gotta fuck her big friend bruh because it's the only way I'm going to slay that black bitch tonight...so akeen like cool nigga its whatever..so I'm like cool lets separate these hoes..ill fuck ol girl in my car..we will go in that church lot behind your crib.....
The Lot
So yeah we in the lot you know I'm bout to go ham on this ass, this freak hoe was readyyyyyyyyyy I'm like "damnmamazlezdoit" so yeah I strip butt ass naked ion give a fuck, she did too..(its dark as fuck) so shit I'm fucking this broad and I'm like damn this hoe got some sauce..shit is wet, I can feel the juice hopping up on me............FUCK YEAH....so I kill that ass for about an hour, I step out my whip butt ass naked in the night air...I'm standing under a lot and shit and when I look down I see blood on my hands and pelvis...I'm like OHHHHHHHHHHHH GOD WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF MY DICK IS BLEEDING I'M DYING FUCKING HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!....but I quickly realized my dumb ass is wearing a condom and its her blood...and thats when it hit me...THIS BITCH IS BLEEDING IN MY CAR...so I yell "AYE get out my car youre bleeding" she like "but I'm naked"...I'm like "GET YOUR BLOODY ASS OUT MY FUCKING CAR...YOU FUCKING UP MY SEATS I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU BEING NAKED GET THE FUCK OUT"....she gets out the car I look at my seats and yup blood is on them..so I'm like fuckkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!!! CAN I EVER GET A NORMAL BITCH WITH A NORMAL FUCKING UTERUS FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK YOU EVE FUCK YOU ADAM FUCK EVERYTHING DAMN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The end!
Ok yall know my luck with fucking women is 50/50 some are good...and others are just fucking turrible...I swear there is always a fucking problem on the real, If I fuck 10 hoes in a week out of those 10, 5 will have something wrong with them...its either her pussy stinks, her ass aint big enough, her skin aint soft enough..or I'm just horny and my judgment got clouded on how truly ugly you are...well I got another damn story for you so here we go got damn i.
The Club
Ok so it was 2007 I was attending school at Faulkner university and what can I say I went to the club every night..so my boy and I went to this joint called front street it was college night so hoes were flocking and choosing..me personally I wouldn't be caught dead in that basement of a club now...but yeah so I see this dark skinned broad with nice mass and legs so I'm like fuck it pull her over get a dance HIT MY FLEX...get her number that's the end of that I would tell yall her name but I forgot it so sue me hoe.
FAST FORWARD
So the next day I hit the broad up..and get some shit going form my boy and I..so she tell me to puck her and her friend up from campus at like 8 (SHOUT OUT TO THE HOES AT ALABAMA STATE I FUCKED MANY) so shit its 8 I roll through and pick them up. We get back to the crib and shit so they go in my boys (akeen) room, while we in the living room talking...so I'm like look you gotta fuck her big friend bruh because it's the only way I'm going to slay that black bitch tonight...so akeen like cool nigga its whatever..so I'm like cool lets separate these hoes..ill fuck ol girl in my car..we will go in that church lot behind your crib.....
The Lot
So yeah we in the lot you know I'm bout to go ham on this ass, this freak hoe was readyyyyyyyyyy I'm like "damnmamazlezdoit" so yeah I strip butt ass naked ion give a fuck, she did too..(its dark as fuck) so shit I'm fucking this broad and I'm like damn this hoe got some sauce..shit is wet, I can feel the juice hopping up on me............FUCK YEAH....so I kill that ass for about an hour, I step out my whip butt ass naked in the night air...I'm standing under a lot and shit and when I look down I see blood on my hands and pelvis...I'm like OHHHHHHHHHHHH GOD WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF MY DICK IS BLEEDING I'M DYING FUCKING HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!....but I quickly realized my dumb ass is wearing a condom and its her blood...and thats when it hit me...THIS BITCH IS BLEEDING IN MY CAR...so I yell "AYE get out my car youre bleeding" she like "but I'm naked"...I'm like "GET YOUR BLOODY ASS OUT MY FUCKING CAR...YOU FUCKING UP MY SEATS I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU BEING NAKED GET THE FUCK OUT"....she gets out the car I look at my seats and yup blood is on them..so I'm like fuckkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!!! CAN I EVER GET A NORMAL BITCH WITH A NORMAL FUCKING UTERUS FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK YOU EVE FUCK YOU ADAM FUCK EVERYTHING DAMN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The end!
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