Now listen..yall know I dont have the best of luck with women...reason why ? I DONT FUCKING KNOW...if I knew...my lonely ass would have a GF by now and she would last more than a GOT DAMN YEAR!!!! but yeah back on subject...let me break this down to yall about me...women!
What I Want!
Yall call me picky, stuck up, shallow or whatever the holy hell you birds want to...but listen..I dont talk to ugly dusty feet looking scabs..straight up I refuse to be that one bum nigga in the mall trailing behind that Raspushia costume wearing bitch...naw not even hoe...yall aint trapping me! a young PimpAsaures like me need something fine, something soft, something with a big ass and lickable (yeah I know that aint a word..so fuck you) thighs got dammit..and if that aint clear enough for ya...well I made a list for you hoes..here it go!
The List
1. If you got 800 smiling faces in your thighs from all them thigh dimples...bitch..your ass is out of here..I weigh 155 and peaking at 6 feet....bitch I have no business with you and all 20 of your love handles.what uma do with 40 asses and 20 titties ??? Look if we in the shower and I gotta wash back titties...YOU GOTTA GET YOUR ASS OUT OF HERE
2. If you look like ya pussy stank...bitch..YOUR TART ASS IS OUT OF HERE.and let me tell you..ain never been wrong about a bitch pussy smelling like public transportation and section 8 housing...you got me all fucked up...you think I'm bout to eat your kitty litter..HA!!!!!!...what you thought you could put some Ax spray down there and I wouldnt smell it...naw...and I bet you have on leggings...out here smelling like goodwill and crackhouse
3. I can smell your hot ass douche bag breath after you tried to shield it behind bubble gum lip gloss...your ass is out of here...fuck you think I like to smell bubblelicious and ass...fuck no...stank breath skank..a nigga will kiss you and taste vomit flavored fruit roll ups...if ya breath stank ya pussy stank...and you know YOUR ASS IS OUT OF HERE..breath tasting like fruit snacks and poverty
4. You got that one crusty ass pinky toe with the toe nail looking like run down cheap carpet...your dusty feet ass is out of here...bitch got a frosted flake on her toe nail tolmbout fresh Pedicure...bitch plahhhhhseeeeeeeeee...bitches be getting pedicures by a plummer these days....toes all dingy and black looking like you house roaches inside them...YEAH YOUR ASS OUT OF HERE
5. If your pony tail is the size of a tshirt tag....YOUR ASS IS OUT OF HERE..bitch you might as well get a durag, brush, and some sports waves grease..bald head ass...hoe pone tail looking like rabbit foot key chain...bitch you aint bringing no good luck to me look like a recovering cancer patient...bitch dont even use rubber bands....she use that wrapper that comes on a loaf of bread lmaoooooooooooooooo....shawty be so bald headed the first time she tried to put that thin ass hair in a pone tail she had to get stitches on her hairline....shawty hair so damn lil and poor when she get it in a pone tail her face cant move...bitch be having a botox effect...If ya eyebrows came off because you had to force that lil ass hair in a pone tail...YOUR ASS IS OUT OF HERE
6. If you got a huge gap in your mouth (now look I know I gotta gap...but um sexy so fuck up) bitch your ass is out of here...I dont play that spatula mouth shit AKA gapula...if I you can suck my dick through your gap...hoe we aint compatible...mondo gap looking scab..ol got damn behind my lips its a secret door called a GAP looking ass bitch...bitch dont eem open here mouth to breath bruh...she sucking air in through her gap.. Michael Strahan looking hoe
7. No ass=your pussy stank and you gotta getcho ass up out of here...what I look like using your bare back ass as a foot stool...bitch ass be so flat she need handle bars to hold her underwear up...bitch ass so flat her thongs got handicap stickers in them...bitch ass be so flat niggas buy her tall tees because they consider her ass apart of her back...bitch ass so flat niggas was boogy boarding on it during the freaknik 98...bitch ass so flat when she sit down on the sofa she slides on the floor..bitch ass so flat nigga gotta put on 3d glasses when he hit from the back..Ass like these new bag of potato chips....all air and half empty...flat screen booty having scab...is LCD or LED...which one ? bitch I need HDMI cables to even see that ass
8. If you built like a jar of playdough...BITCH YOUR ASS IS OUT OF HERE...who you think I am...fucking Picasso ? I cant fix you..no way in hell...looking like the fucking blob...if your stomach spilling over your belt...aye...getcho ass out of here bitch stomach spilling over like a cup filled to the brim...muffin top ass how your body look like a mushroom...bitch torso look like an open umbrella..ain got time...
9. You got nappy ass hair....Your ass is out of here...if you can cause a drive by shooting by combing your hair..bitch you need to be dead...dont try to cover it up with one of those citi trends lace front...I have no time to look at your zip on hairline..hairline looking like a starter jacket...bitch hair look like a freshly opened shamwow...Shawty try to wash her hair and end up with a million paper cuts on her hands...blood running down her face and shit
10. no hoodrats
That basically sums it up...so if you fall in any of those numbers on this list...well YOUR ASS IS OUT OF HERE..and I dont care about any of yall being mad at my list either...cause yall ugly..and um aint
P.S. GOD PLEASE SEND ME A YOUNG HOT THANG FA DA 2012...even Keef get lonely...if you dont...you know where um at nigga..plotting on yo ass and the Virgin Mary with Lucifer..we will run a train on her nigga if you dont answer my prayers...Pleigh...
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO MY READERS...AND RIP TO MY AUNT....WE'RE GOING TO MISS YOU DOWN HERE..THESE FEW WEEKS BEEN ROUGH ON MY FATHER AND ME..TAKE CARE
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