Black Ops and Bitches

Listen man..Me and my patna Chi town Al (he's in the 5 piece story also) use to be out here...wild ass night with bitches, I mean every damn night nigga..Black bitches, Yellow Bitches, Brown bitches, Red bitches.... didn't even matter...we had them..but yeah I slowed down because shit I was starting summer school. I couldn't be up all night fuckin with the ratchets. So this one Thursday I get home around 7pm...nigga.....I had to study...nigga...I was tired...nigga...I wanted to play black ops...nigga..but yall dont hear me tho. This fool call me..conversation go like this...wait before I get into the conversation, know this. I answer the phone angry with a dry voice when every one call me..I don't give a damn, I don't like talking...on with the conversation.

Al: G

Me: Nigga what

Al: Aye don't talk to me like that joe

Me: Nigga fuck you...this my damn phone

Al: Yeah I bet if I beat yo damn ass...it'll be my phone

Me; Man what you want shit cuz ain bout to play these fucking games

Al: I got a new hoe...Me and Mon bout to bring her through the crib...break her ass in

Me: ok...Lol..fuck that got to do with me

Al: Cuz we all bout to fuck her nigga

Me: Ain doing shit, I'm bout to study and play this damn back ops

Al: yeah aight we'll see...I'm on the way

Me: whatever

Funny how I can remember detailed conversations like that but barely can remember people names...


Mon

This fool arrive with Mon dumb old ass...I swear this nigga had to be like 33.. Cali ass nigga..this nigga use to rock braids with beads in his fucking head dawg, them shit aint have no hang time..nigga use to put like 3 beads on each braid..the last bead would be hanging above his earlobe...Me and this fool Al wasnt shit but 21 and 24..I remember this old ass nigga Mon said " I can't sleep alone Cuz" bruh lmaooooo me an Al clowned the shit outta this nigga...fuck you mean you cant sleep alone...you ol soap opera ass nigga...you a sound like a mothafuckin bitch. Fuck this nigga was talking about man

So yeah they come in..I'm playing black ops..I don't pay them any mind..Al come in my room and is like " We bout to train this bitch", I'm like naw YALL bout to train that bitch..nigga im tired and I'm playing this game...this nigga Al, "Nigga you sound Bitch made right now"...I say whatever..go back to playing the game..nigga was making me angry...he gets up and leave and go back into the living room..I hear him talking "Bitch take them clothes, lets get this shit crackin..and shake that ass some"...I hear her say " Aight Fame..its whatever"...I cut my tv down to mute bruh...look..I'm a creep...I wanted to hear some shit lmao..................................................Like that broad moaning and shit

The Action

This nigga put on Gucci mane "Im a dog" LOL...I just hear them loud mafuckas yelling "ayeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"...My curiosity got the best of me...I get up and go in the damn living room...this red ass bitch is on the sofa just shaking her ass dawg....NAKID...now my first thought is...we sit on this sofa everyday and this fool got this hoe poppin pussy on the sofa arm rest..ON THE FUCKING ARM REST BRUH....Ignore it....so then she just start playing with herself....I'm like "aye..tell this bitch to get on the floor bruh" I dont want my mama coming to visit and the entire sofa smell like ovaries and cervix juice ...he tell her and she do it...still playing with herself..bent OVER...in DOGGYSTYLE....I dont know what came over me but I had the urge to smack her ass...it was a big ass bruh...I had to do it for eastpoint and the entire zone 3...

The ass smack

I remember this scene from National Security where Martin smacks this bitch ass with Two hands and yell...IS THIS A THONG...look man I'm notorious for acting out shit in movies and videos...I smack the hell outta them Yellow booty butt cheeks and yell...WHAT IS THIS...WHAT IS IN THIS ASS..I just started rubbing her butt in a circle motion..SLAPPIN DAT ass up ...this fool Al is dying laughing...but wait there's more

Budlight fountain
So we go get the beer out the fridge..this guy Al...wild guy....he pours the entire can of beer down her ass crack......we just started pouring beer all down her butt crack bruh...beer dripping down her crack..on some stone cold steve austin type shit...turned that pussy into a damn keg

Byt this time I'm like aight I done had my fun..I got back to my room and play the game...10 minutes later Al come to my room and sit down and say "G...Mon is in the living room making love to this hoe", I'm like nigga you lying..."g on the boss he in there right now...making love...he aint fucking her..he in there making love" I started laughing my ass off man..I get up and go in the living room....and here is Mon and this bitch in the middle of my floor making love....this nigga making love to a fucking whore...in the middle of my living room floor...I go back in the room...I'm like yeahhhhhh..that nigga in there making love to her like its his honey moon...I play like 5 games of team death match...thats almost 50 minutes when you do the math...this bitch is yelling like a fucking rooster....I get up and go to the living room like..aye...nigga its been like a damn hour...get this bitch up outta here..fuck you think you is..spokes person for Viagra ??? yall got this mothafucka smelling like ass and salvation army..yall gotta leave.


Only thing I regret from the night is not sliding my student id card down that broad ass crack...still on my bucket list...

and if you wondering about the sofa and carpet after the beer fest...I moved to another apartment, left that shit.

The Train Volume 1

So this is something new I'm doing for my blog...Atl by far got the craziest people in the world that rides the train...no lie something crazy is always going on...so I ot my lil photography going on now...and well lets fucking get it to it shit!

Look what we have here people...WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ON HERE HEAD!!!!!!

Shawty I just dont know...this bitch went and got a pitch fork and covered it in a 2 dollar yaki.....what is this !!!??? The sears tower of lacefronts ??? OMG OMG look at the sides bruh....I know right...WHAT SIDES!!?? Man this bitch rocking a bald fade pone tail...aint never seen a bowl cut mixed with an up do...Oh ok, I see what happened to shawty sides...while she was struggling to put that Haitian refugee weave in a pony tail..her sides disintegrated..leaving her with 3rd degree welfare burns....Bitch looking like Blade after he missed a few barbershop trips..Billy Blanks with a matted up durag looking ass bitch...I bet this bitch hair smell like foodstamps, and W2 tax returns...I know it do got dammit

Fuck it let me get her ass out of here

Bitch head lookin like a dirty shank

Bitch head lookin like a rusty kitchen knife set

Bitch head look like the Eiffel Tower covered in walrus booboo

Bitch head look like a used rooster uterus

Bitch head looking like she use commode seat crud for weave glue

Bitch head looking like a flat head screw driver

Bitch head look like a muddy weed wacker

Bitch sides looking like an African kids stomach.....empty

Bitch sides is vacant

Bitch sides was plagued with an STD... S.ideless T.o D.eath

Bitch sides look like a naked welcome mat

Bitch sides so lil, she get her split ends cut with a toe nail clipper

Bitch gotta use Wd40 and motor oil just to grease that nappy ass scalp

bitch sold her sides for a nickel bag of pickle juice

Bitch hair so nappy she comb that shit with a stapler gun

Bitch Scalp so bald she use paper clips to hold her weave shank at the top of her head

Bitch hair so nappy her eyes turn blood shot red every time she combs it

Bitch hair so nappy kittens use that shit as scratching post

Bitch hair so nappy she get her edges laid down with gorilla glue

Man my dick so flaccid right now bruh looking at this woman...I'm out... enjoy...more to come

THE GET YOUR ASS OUT OF HERE LIST

Now listen..yall know I dont have the best of luck with women...reason why ? I DONT FUCKING KNOW...if I knew...my lonely ass would have a GF by now and she would last more than a GOT DAMN YEAR!!!! but yeah back on subject...let me break this down to yall about me...women!

What I Want!

Yall call me picky, stuck up, shallow or whatever the holy hell you birds want to...but listen..I dont talk to ugly dusty feet looking scabs..straight up I refuse to be that one bum nigga in the mall trailing behind that Raspushia costume wearing bitch...naw not even hoe...yall aint trapping me! a young PimpAsaures like me need something fine, something soft, something with a big ass and lickable (yeah I know that aint a word..so fuck you) thighs got dammit..and if that aint clear enough for ya...well I made a list for you hoes..here it go!

The List

1. If you got 800 smiling faces in your thighs from all them thigh dimples...bitch..your ass is out of here..I weigh 155 and peaking at 6 feet....bitch I have no business with you and all 20 of your love handles.what uma do with 40 asses and 20 titties ??? Look if we in the shower and I gotta wash back titties...YOU GOTTA GET YOUR ASS OUT OF HERE

2. If you look like ya pussy stank...bitch..YOUR TART ASS IS OUT OF HERE.and let me tell you..ain never been wrong about a bitch pussy smelling like public transportation and section 8 housing...you got me all fucked up...you think I'm bout to eat your kitty litter..HA!!!!!!...what you thought you could put some Ax spray down there and I wouldnt smell it...naw...and I bet you have on leggings...out here smelling like goodwill and crackhouse

3. I can smell your hot ass douche bag breath after you tried to shield it behind bubble gum lip gloss...your ass is out of here...fuck you think I like to smell bubblelicious and ass...fuck no...stank breath skank..a nigga will kiss you and taste vomit flavored fruit roll ups...if ya breath stank ya pussy stank...and you know YOUR ASS IS OUT OF HERE..breath tasting like fruit snacks and poverty

4. You got that one crusty ass pinky toe with the toe nail looking like run down cheap carpet...your dusty feet ass is out of here...bitch got a frosted flake on her toe nail tolmbout fresh Pedicure...bitch plahhhhhseeeeeeeeee...bitches be getting pedicures by a plummer these days....toes all dingy and black looking like you house roaches inside them...YEAH YOUR ASS OUT OF HERE

5. If your pony tail is the size of a tshirt tag....YOUR ASS IS OUT OF HERE..bitch you might as well get a durag, brush, and some sports waves grease..bald head ass...hoe pone tail looking like rabbit foot key chain...bitch you aint bringing no good luck to me look like a recovering cancer patient...bitch dont even use rubber bands....she use that wrapper that comes on a loaf of bread lmaoooooooooooooooo....shawty be so bald headed the first time she tried to put that thin ass hair in a pone tail she had to get stitches on her hairline....shawty hair so damn lil and poor when she get it in a pone tail her face cant move...bitch be having a botox effect...If ya eyebrows came off because you had to force that lil ass hair in a pone tail...YOUR ASS IS OUT OF HERE

6. If you got a huge gap in your mouth (now look I know I gotta gap...but um sexy so fuck up) bitch your ass is out of here...I dont play that spatula mouth shit AKA gapula...if I you can suck my dick through your gap...hoe we aint compatible...mondo gap looking scab..ol got damn behind my lips its a secret door called a GAP looking ass bitch...bitch dont eem open here mouth to breath bruh...she sucking air in through her gap.. Michael Strahan looking hoe

7. No ass=your pussy stank and you gotta getcho ass up out of here...what I look like using your bare back ass as a foot stool...bitch ass be so flat she need handle bars to hold her underwear up...bitch ass so flat her thongs got handicap stickers in them...bitch ass be so flat niggas buy her tall tees because they consider her ass apart of her back...bitch ass so flat niggas was boogy boarding on it during the freaknik 98...bitch ass so flat when she sit down on the sofa she slides on the floor..bitch ass so flat nigga gotta put on 3d glasses when he hit from the back..Ass like these new bag of potato chips....all air and half empty...flat screen booty having scab...is LCD or LED...which one ? bitch I need HDMI cables to even see that ass

8. If you built like a jar of playdough...BITCH YOUR ASS IS OUT OF HERE...who you think I am...fucking Picasso ? I cant fix you..no way in hell...looking like the fucking blob...if your stomach spilling over your belt...aye...getcho ass out of here bitch stomach spilling over like a cup filled to the brim...muffin top ass how your body look like a mushroom...bitch torso look like an open umbrella..ain got time...

9. You got nappy ass hair....Your ass is out of here...if you can cause a drive by shooting by combing your hair..bitch you need to be dead...dont try to cover it up with one of those citi trends lace front...I have no time to look at your zip on hairline..hairline looking like a starter jacket...bitch hair look like a freshly opened shamwow...Shawty try to wash her hair and end up with a million paper cuts on her hands...blood running down her face and shit

10. no hoodrats

That basically sums it up...so if you fall in any of those numbers on this list...well YOUR ASS IS OUT OF HERE..and I dont care about any of yall being mad at my list either...cause yall ugly..and um aint

P.S. GOD PLEASE SEND ME A YOUNG HOT THANG FA DA 2012...even Keef get lonely...if you dont...you know where um at nigga..plotting on yo ass and the Virgin Mary with Lucifer..we will run a train on her nigga if you dont answer my prayers...Pleigh...

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO MY READERS...AND RIP TO MY AUNT....WE'RE GOING TO MISS YOU DOWN HERE..THESE FEW WEEKS BEEN ROUGH ON MY FATHER AND ME..TAKE CARE